Sacrifice or Robbery?
Well, that was a great big “No-No”! I know better, but I got sucked in. I am thankful for the swift kick in the pants and dose of realization and clarity to get me back on track. I am thankful for an incredible new friend, and fellow life coach, who connected with me to say, “Woah, Gerri! Stay on YOUR path and do NOT accept or welcome the distraction – NO MATTER WHAT”! No matter the intent of others, a distraction is a distraction. Thank you, Candace M. Gray, for the timely and necessary reminder.
Society and the corporate rat-race is ingrained with the mindset that if you want a successful career, then you must sacrifice almost everything else – if not everything. The idea that living and being true to you AND having a successful career is an either/or proposition is so prevalent. The pattern of silencing self when you see or experience something that is PLAIN WRONG, contrary to justice, challenges your ethics or calls question to your integrity, is seen as ok or even noble…because the job or situation is worth the sacrifice. I’m calling “FOUL” on that belief! It is simply NOT TRUE!
I ask, “Is this a “sacrifice” that is being requested or expected, or is it actually “robbery” of authentic living and self-care undercover”?
Let’s face it, challenges are present in any situation. Typical struggles in the workplace are not unique to any particular corporate setting. As an employee anywhere, juggling personal health and wellness with workplace responsibilities and expectations is common to our society. When you add water cooler drama and personality friction, the work environment can negatively impact your life outside of work — IF YOU ALLOW IT TO DO SO!
This is the point where some might jump and say, “That’s why everyone should just own their own business”! To that, I say, we need to tap the breaks a bit!
Business ownership is not for everyone…and it has it’s own set of challenges. Listen, don’t twist my words. It can be incredible and very fulfilling to hold and nurture a business in your hands. For the person who is willing to do ALL that needs to be done, has thick skin, understands their purpose and passion, is firm on ethical action and integrity, knows their boundaries, and is determined to accept the failures as a guide to move to growth, entrepreneurship is AMAZING!
Whether entrepreneurship or working for others is your journey, it is still imperative to stay true to you! I have owned and learned from several businesses — some have been great successes and others…well…as I said, I’ve learned great lessons. All experiences have been completely valuable. However, this is not a blog post on whether you should own a business or work for someone else. I have and will have other posts that tap into and share my insight on that.
When faced with a workplace, business ownership or social situation that is giving you an either/or ultimatum, knowing your personal boundaries, having clarity about your life purpose…and then sticking to that…allows you to stay true to you. Staying true to you allows those around you understand your character and you don’t have to have that internal wrestling match that can occur.
The caveat in all of this is that you must accept the result! This does not mean it is easy and all of the sudden everything will be instantly perfect. It means that you must own your choice, completely, confidently, and without complaint or blaming anyone else. You have two choices: Stay true to you — or not. Whew! That’s the hard part – SOMETIMES.
If you choose to travel to path that is inline with what other’s want, that is in conflict with your true you, then you might smooth things over for the moment. However, you have crossed your own boundaries and your own commitment to yourself. In fact, you may even try to convince yourself that you have just simply made a “sacrifice” when you have actually just allowed yourself to be “robbed” of your true you.
If you choose to stay true and aligned to your purpose, path, journey, commitment, boundaries and authenticity, you might have to buckle yup and ride the struggle bus on a pothole-filled road for a time. With this decision you know that the internal battle, that can be worse than any external struggle, is not the barrier that is blocking your growth and blessings. You might need to “sacrifice” some wants or extras, but you never have to question, or have questioned, your character, ethics, or integrity. You are not being “robbed” of your authenticity.
Remember, once integrity and trust are questioned or shattered, you can call yourself fortunate to gain it back. The first time around, you may be granted a certain level of trust, but you must prove and confirm it to keep it. If you choose wrong and lose it, it takes so much more for others to take you at face-value and without question.
As I stated, I am so glad I snapped back into my authentic living and mindset quickly — before making the choice to place my integrity at risk. You see, battling with the other option was draining, distracting, and caused an internal war. Not eating well or exercising and leaving self-care to the side was part of the package on that other path. By dancing around the entrance of that path, I robbed myself of healthy living and wellness. While, for a moment, it simplified a few things, overall it negatively affected my mind, body and soul. It was not beneficial — at all!
So, consider your choices. Determine your boundaries and what is true to you. Carefully decide if what you are doing is a sacrifice or if it is something that is actually robbing you of your potential, integrity, or FANTABULOUS life!
If you are reading this and can describe yourself as a woman navigating your divorce or post-divorce experience, I WELCOME YOU! I encourage you to:
Follow Journey2Jamaica: My Path to Discovering Authentic Me, to learn more about my personal journey to discover authentic living,
Check out my other blog, Hummingbird Labyrinth, to gain more insight and resources to grow through the experience of divorce into a happier and healthier woman,
Scoot on over to see my additional resources on my website, GerriPrince.com, where you will find information on my health and wellness coaching services and woman-focused retreats.